Season 2 · Episode 1

Khayla Monique - The Unshatter'd Adoptee Interviewed by Steve Jackson (Alien)

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0:01Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome back
0:07to Alien Eyes Photos Industry Talk.
0:10Yes, it's a beautiful day.
0:13I'm finally catching up with Ress.
0:15Oh, I'm getting a retwist.
0:16So that means something special might be going on
0:19as you can hear in the background.
0:22The clips, the combs, the hair management, the sprays.
0:29And now we're about to add good conversation
0:31and I'm here with Kayla Monique.
0:34Would you like to introduce yourself?
0:35Yes, yes, yes.
0:36Hey everybody, it is your girl, Kayla Monique,
0:40AKA The Unshattered Adoptee.
0:43Yes, Unshattered Adoptee, what does that mean to you?
0:47What does that mean to me?
0:49Okay, so when I think of Unshattered Adoptee,
0:53I think of glass.
0:58Now, but when I think of the glass,
0:59sometimes glass can have cracks in it,
1:03but still take up space.
1:05The visual, like maybe a bus stop,
1:07that glass is shattered, but it still takes up space.
1:10Other glass can shatter and actually fall
1:12and crumble to the ground.
1:13I like to believe that me and my tribe,
1:16other adoptees, other individuals affected
1:19by foster care, teen pregnancy,
1:22we are all unshattered
1:23because we're still standing here today.
1:26I'm still standing here today.
1:27I have some cracks, but that's okay.
1:30And that makes me unique.
1:32So I'm still here today.
1:34So when I say be unshattered,
1:36that's exactly what I mean
1:37because everybody has some cracks.
1:40Everybody has a few stains
1:41from something that they've been through in life,
1:44but you're still here.
1:45So you are unshattered, just like I am unshattered.
1:48So that's what Unshattered Adoptee stands for.
1:52Wow, that's truly powerful.
1:55And also motivating,
1:58especially for other people
2:00that may be going through similar things.
2:03Absolutely, for sure.
2:04So I would say, is that your line of work?
2:07Yes, yes, yes, yes.
2:12So both personally and professionally,
2:15so I am currently a youth behavior health specialist
2:18with Ohio Guidestone here in Cleveland,
2:21working with youth ages six to 18.
2:25And then on the personal side,
2:27that's kind of what my new podcast is gonna be about,
2:30being able to take that time to pour into the youth,
2:33but also adults affected by foster care and adoption
2:36since now I am an adult.
2:39So I'm able to empathize with what it is
2:41to be an adult as an adoptee
2:43and some of the struggles
2:44that we may go through as adults.
2:46So yes, personally, I'm starting my podcast
2:49to help individuals affected by foster care
2:51and adoption and mental health,
2:53and then professionally,
2:55I work with the youth as a behavior health specialist.
2:58So yeah, that's my line of work.
3:00That's purpose for sure.
3:02Did you say podcast?
3:05I did say podcast.
3:07And for the people listening in,
3:08what's the name of your podcast?
3:10So the name of my podcast is
3:12Unshattered Adoptee Podcast that is coming this April,
3:15so please stay tuned.
3:17Okay, April, April, April.
3:19Yes, Aries season.
3:22Got a rapid Aries, Aries Aries.
3:24Yes, period, big Aries.
3:26So the time when it's recording,
3:29by the time it's released,
3:31people should be able to find it.
3:33So definitely check out all,
3:35if it's gonna be everywhere, I don't know.
3:37Well, for it to start off,
3:39it's gonna be on IG at unshattered underscore adoptee
3:43as well as my personal page at miss underscore Kayla
3:46with two A's,
3:48and future plans are to have it on Apple
3:50and Spotify,
3:51but you'll also be able to see it on YouTube.
3:53Oh yeah, we gonna get you there.
3:55Oh yeah, for sure.
3:57And can you spell it out for the individuals?
4:00So what did you want me to spell out?
4:02Yeah, unshattered, just what it's saying.
4:04Unshattered, perfect.
4:04Cause people may be driving or.
4:06You're absolutely right.
4:08So unshattered is spelled U-N-S-H-A-T-T-E-R-D.
4:15Okay, again, that's U-N-S-H-A-T-T-E-R-D.
4:21Unshattered adoptee.
4:23Yes, yes.
4:23And it will also be in a show notes.
4:27Yes, thank you, thank you.
4:30And you had a chance on coming to
4:32actually podcast workshop that I was presenting at.
4:37You wanna talk a little bit about your experience?
4:39I do.
4:40So first off, it was an amazing experience.
4:43I definitely wanna say that,
4:45just the knowledge that you guys shared
4:47and then being able to fill my trailer,
4:50which you guys have already seen on my platforms
4:52on Instagram.
4:54And yes, A-L-E-N-I took care of that for me.
4:58So shout out to him.
4:59Absolutely loved the trailer.
5:01So yes, I went to the event.
5:03And the funny thing is,
5:05I wasn't sure if I was gonna come.
5:06What?
5:07You know, it's crazy you say that
5:10because last minute we were thinking about canceling.
5:14Oh wow, I didn't know that.
5:16Yeah. Okay.
5:17So we stuck through and you stuck through.
5:20Confirmation right there.
5:21Yeah, we just gotta make it happen.
5:23You know, you may feel those,
5:25you know, like you said,
5:26you might have these stains,
5:27you may be better than bruised,
5:28but you still gotta push through.
5:30Come on now.
5:31You know, I'm tired most of the days.
5:33People don't know that,
5:34but I still push through.
5:36Absolutely, absolutely.
5:37So you got to.
5:38And that was definitely me that day.
5:41Like most of us do, we'll have a plan,
5:43but sometimes the day just
5:45takes a completely different direction.
5:47And that's what it was for me that day.
5:49By the time I was getting ready to come to you guys,
5:52I was already an hour late.
5:54So in my mind, I'm like, oh my gosh,
5:56I've been doing hair all day.
5:57I'm not dressed the way I wanna be dressed.
6:00Like I don't even know if I'm gonna go,
6:02but last minute I kind of gave myself that push,
6:05which I encourage everybody to do.
6:08Even if you don't feel like you want to,
6:10but you know it's something that's gonna elevate you
6:12personally on your self-discovery journey, do it.
6:15And that's literally what I did.
6:17Like I said, I was an hour late.
6:19I wasn't dressed the way I wanted to be dressed,
6:21but I showed up for myself.
6:23And I'm so glad that I did
6:25because I got to network with individuals.
6:27I got to meet some amazing people.
6:29And again, I got an amazing trailer.
6:31You know what I mean?
6:33And I could have easily said,
6:34I don't know, I'm not ready.
6:35I don't wanna do it.
6:36But no, I trusted myself.
6:39I trusted my voice,
6:40which is also something that
6:42Unshattered Adoptee represents.
6:44Using your voice.
6:45Because as adoptees, sometimes we feel like
6:49our voices don't have power
6:50or fear of rubbing somebody the wrong way.
6:55And I've come to a place where
6:57my voice is one of my biggest gifts.
7:00Being able to use my voice.
7:02And then I hear other people say,
7:03wow, the way you use your voice.
7:06I'm so glad you use your voice.
7:08You know what I mean?
7:09So show up for yourself.
7:12Even if it scares you,
7:13even if it's not going perfect
7:14the way that you expect it to go,
7:16you never know what reward you're gonna receive
7:18at the end of showing up for yourself.
7:21That is amazing.
7:23And as you say that,
7:24and you say use your voice
7:25and words are powerful.
7:27So definitely be conscious of the words you speak.
7:30Yes, yes, cool.
7:32Did you have one of those teachers growing up?
7:34Like, you know, you talk too much hard.
7:38Your voice, your mouth gonna get you in trouble.
7:40Did you have one of those teachers growing up?
7:41I absolutely did.
7:43I feel like every year,
7:44through elementary school,
7:45I was always getting that on my behavior charts
7:48or my report card.
7:49Oh, great stuff, but just a little too talkative.
7:53You know, and then fast forward
7:54when I worked in the medical field.
7:56Sometimes the doctors would have to tell me,
7:58hey, Kayla, can you keep it down?
8:00You're a little too loud in there.
8:02And the funny thing is at times,
8:06at first when I would hear that,
8:07it made me wanna be more quiet.
8:09You know, but as time has gone on
8:11and I've been doing different opportunities
8:13where I use my voice,
8:15I now understand that those people
8:18who thought that I was too loud or I talked too much,
8:20they weren't the ones meant to hear me.
8:23My voice is loud because my voice is meant to project.
8:26It's meant to touch other people.
8:27And I can't do that with a timid, shy little voice.
8:31No, my voice needs to carry.
8:33It needs to have confidence.
8:35And it needs to be powerful.
8:37You know what I mean?
8:38Just the same way music and the sound of music
8:41can affect your spirit and how you feel.
8:43Someone's voice and tone can do the same.
8:45I'm sure everybody's heard that saying,
8:47it's not what you say, but how you say it.
8:50You know what I mean?
8:51And that's that for me.
8:53My voice carries in this loud
8:54because I have a message that I'm meant to share.
8:58You know what I mean?
8:59So definitely, for sure.
9:02Message to millions, for the millions.
9:05And it kind of reminds me of more dynamic speakers,
9:12like Les Brown and you know.
9:14Oh my gosh, love Les Brown.
9:17When he said, I forgot how much he said
9:18he makes an hour just for speaking engagement.
9:23It's I think like 500,000 for two hours.
9:27Come on.
9:28Just for using his voice and speaking.
9:31And not to give too much details or anything like that,
9:34but one of my speaking opportunities,
9:37and I can share this now because I manifested it,
9:40but I some years back, maybe 2018, 2019,
9:44I was in this space where affirmations
9:47just saying what I wanted to manifest.
9:49And I would say, hey,
9:51I make X amount of money as a speaker.
9:54And I kept saying that, kept saying that,
9:56kept saying that.
9:58And one particular speaking opportunity
10:00where being paid and all that was not discussed.
10:03They just wanted me to be a part of their event.
10:05And I was just grateful to be a part of their event
10:07that they saw me and recognize me.
10:09And I got a card, didn't open it right away.
10:13It was maybe two hours after the event.
10:15When I opened that card,
10:18the exact amount that I had been manifesting
10:20and saying that I wanted to make as a speaker,
10:23that's how much they paid me.
10:25So that right there can show you
10:27how powerful your mind and your words are.
10:30If you really want something, speak it.
10:33Speak it over your life and believe it.
10:36That's the biggest part.
10:38You said that was your first time?
10:40One of my speaking,
10:41one of my first speaking opportunities, yes.
10:43And prior to that,
10:44I was already in the zone of manifesting,
10:47thinking about what type of life I wanted to have,
10:50where I really wanted to be.
10:52And that's how speaking came about.
10:53That's something that comes naturally to me.
10:56It's easy.
10:57It doesn't feel like work.
10:58And I love to see how my voice can change
11:03somebody's spirit or their confidence within themselves,
11:06which is what I see working with my youth.
11:09Some of the things that I say to them,
11:10you see that light bulb go off,
11:12that light pop up in their eyes.
11:15It's such an amazing and fulfilling feeling to have.
11:19You know what I mean?
11:20And that's why now I'm so much more confident
11:22to use my voice.
11:24I'm not as shaky when I'm talking.
11:26You know what I mean?
11:27Like I'm talking right now
11:28and I feel completely purpose-filled,
11:32right where I'm supposed to be using my voice,
11:34what God gave me,
11:36along with the obstacles that I overcame.
11:39That's where your purpose meets,
11:41where your natural gifts
11:43and the struggles that you have overcame,
11:45where they intersect,
11:47that's your purpose.
11:49That's your purpose.
11:50And my purpose is my voice.
11:52And I'm so grateful to have my voice.
11:55Yes, that's amazing.
11:58Absolutely.
11:58You said they slid you a little envelope
12:01after the fact, huh?
12:03Yes, like what?
12:05Oh my gosh, I wasn't,
12:06and that just shows when you're doing something
12:08with a pure heart, too.
12:10You know what I mean?
12:10You were just,
12:11literally I just was doing it
12:12because I wanted to do what I wanted to speak,
12:14wanted to share my story.
12:17I wasn't expecting anything in return,
12:19but usually when you're obedient,
12:22don't wanna get too religious or spiritual or anything,
12:23but when you're obedient to a higher power,
12:27you're gonna be rewarded.
12:30That's just how it goes.
12:32So step outside your comfort zone, guys,
12:35anybody, even if you're not adopted.
12:37This does not only resonate with adoptees,
12:40someone affected by foster care.
12:42Everyone has their own personal struggles
12:44and their own personal stories
12:46that may at times make them feel weighed down,
12:50make them feel like they are shattering,
12:53but you're not.
12:55If you're listening to this right now,
12:57you still have purpose.
12:59You are unshattered.
13:01That's right.
13:02And you're here for a reason.
13:04Something brought you here
13:05to listen to this conversation today.
13:09So take what resonates with you
13:11and do what you feel,
13:13but trust yourself.
13:15Trust yourself.
13:17Trust yourself.
13:19And going back to that being your first time speaking,
13:24I wanna say your first time speaking,
13:26but almost like you starting your speaking career.
13:30Yes, yes, yes.
13:32How much they pay you?
13:33You don't have to explain.
13:34You don't gotta say the number,
13:35but just have it in your head
13:37and just think about a year from now,
13:39two years from now.
13:41You know that number's gonna increase.
13:43Come on now.
13:44What?
13:45Come on now.
13:46What do you think that number
13:46will be just a year from now?
13:49Oh, I feel like a year from now,
13:51just because I'm so more confident in what I do.
13:57I feel like what I got paid that first time
13:59in a year from now,
14:01it would probably increase by two, $300 for sure.
14:07That's what I see for sure
14:08without giving a specific number,
14:10but just knowing what I did make
14:12and how scared I was.
14:15You know, I gotta put that out there.
14:17I was scared.
14:18I was sweating bullets, okay?
14:20So to even be compensated
14:23when I felt like I didn't do a good enough job
14:26and now as you guys can hear me now
14:28and there's no shaking in my voice,
14:30that's why I say my pay as a speaker,
14:32I can see it increasing by at least $300.
14:35You know what I mean?
14:36Just because.
14:36We're gonna add another zero here.
14:38We're gonna add another zero.
14:39Yeah, absolutely.
14:40Another zero, okay.
14:41I like that.
14:42I like that making four digits, okay,
14:45for speaking,
14:46for just using my voice and pouring it into individuals.
14:48I like that, yeah.
14:50We're gonna be making four digit,
14:52four digit income as a speaker.
14:54Minimum.
14:55That's the minimum.
14:55Minimum.
14:56Ooh, come on, y'all.
14:58Y'all hear me?
14:59I'm dropping gems right here.
15:01Definitely.
15:02Yes, yes.
15:03Bringing it into fruition four digits
15:05and even more, like you said, abundance.
15:09Abundance.
15:10Abundance.
15:10I actually have episode two,
15:12I think I spoke on abundance mindset.
15:14I think that's episode two.
15:15Okay.
15:15But yes, the abundance mindset.
15:19More confirmation for you.
15:21Yes, yes.
15:22And like I'm speaking,
15:24I'm getting more into the speaking arena
15:25and so yeah, definitely,
15:27we're gonna add another zero in now,
15:29like you said, a year from now.
15:31Yes.
15:31At the beginning.
15:32Let's go.
15:33At a year, it may be, like you said, at three,
15:35but we're about the end of the year,
15:36it's not gonna be another zero, man.
15:37I love it.
15:38Absolutely, I'm claiming it.
15:40Yeah.
15:40I'm claiming, because it's already happened.
15:42So I know it can happen again.
15:44That faith is just stronger.
15:45Faith of a mustard seed, guys.
15:48Faith of a mustard seed.
15:49Oh yeah, and I work with a lot of creative
15:53entrepreneurs are just creatives
15:55and they're also those that's just entrepreneurs,
15:59but I love the creative entrepreneurs
16:00where they're creative and they're both entrepreneurs.
16:05Which I am, coming from an artist background
16:07with music, poetry, photography,
16:10being an entrepreneur also,
16:14which all my life I could say I was an entrepreneur
16:15or I had that entrepreneur mindset.
16:18So I love working with creative entrepreneurs
16:20and the biggest thing I tell them,
16:25the better you do, your value increase.
16:29And like you said, you being unshattered,
16:31the glass, it might have some bumps in the road,
16:34but that's like practice.
16:36It's like, it's life in that and it's unshattered.
16:41So it's still functional.
16:43It's still doing what it needs to do.
16:46Yes.
16:46So your value will definitely increase
16:49and there's always times
16:52where the unshattered can be fixed.
16:54Ooh, I like that, yes.
16:56So turn into art.
16:59How can your shatterness be art,
17:02be beautiful to others?
17:06So yeah, we're gonna add another zero
17:07and then after that another zero.
17:09Compound it as the years go by.
17:11Yes, just constantly growing
17:12and I definitely agree with that 100%.
17:14That's literally where I am.
17:15I just wanna keep elevating.
17:17Just keep getting better,
17:18getting better at my craft.
17:20You know, just the amount of people
17:23that I'm able to reach that increasing.
17:26You know what I mean?
17:27Like I just wanna,
17:30I want people to be able to be where I am today
17:33because back in 2018,
17:36which was like one of my lowest points
17:38and I always think of a Phoenix rising at that point
17:40because when you're so low,
17:42but you're still here,
17:43the only other place you can go is up.
17:45And for me, you know what I mean?
17:48It was just like, I was at a point where
17:50I just wanna feel happy.
17:53I don't remember what it feels like to be happy.
17:57And fast forward maybe,
18:00maybe a year or so of consistently putting in that work,
18:04consistently loving on me,
18:07tapping into who Kayla was and nurturing myself.
18:11I literally remember it like it was just yesterday.
18:14In my car, on the freeway and literally client tears of joy
18:18because I felt that happiness again,
18:20creeping up inside of me.
18:22You know what I mean?
18:24Like you deserve to be where I am and be happy
18:27and I'm proof that it can be done.
18:30You know, two time team mom,
18:32you know, two evictions.
18:34I've been fired from a job.
18:36I've had to move back home with my mom.
18:38You know what I mean?
18:39I've had to kind of literally restart and be humble.
18:43But with me doing that, I picked myself back up
18:47and each day is getting greater and greater.
18:49Do I have my bad days?
18:51Yes, but here's the difference.
18:54How anxiety had control of me
18:57and the things that were going wrong in my life
19:00had control of me.
19:02It's the opposite now.
19:03I have control over it.
19:05I have control over my anxiety.
19:07I have control over my depression.
19:09I have control over how my day is gonna go.
19:11And I don't sit in those feelings.
19:15That's what I was doing before.
19:16I would just sit and wallow in just negativity
19:19and just being unhappy.
19:21Now I allow myself to feel it because that's healthy.
19:24I'm human.
19:25I'm gonna feel things, but I don't stay in it.
19:30Now, go ahead, go ahead.
19:32No, because then I feel like everybody deserves
19:33to feel that who may be struggling through something.
19:36There is a way out.
19:39There is. There is a way out, yeah.
19:41I was gonna say, what are some actionable steps
19:44for someone that's struggling to gain that control
19:48or take control of the wheel
19:50versus being in a self-driving car?
19:53Okay, so I know a lot of people have probably heard it
19:55all starts in your mind, and that sounds cliche,
19:58but it's really, really true.
20:00What you focus on, you bring about.
20:02One more time, one more time.
20:03What you focus on, you bring about.
20:07So if you're constantly focusing on what's going wrong
20:10in your life, you're gonna get more of what's going wrong.
20:13That's just how it works.
20:14So for me, what I would do is,
20:16and I really did this for 60 days straight
20:18just to help my mind start to focus on the good
20:21and not so much the bad,
20:23I would say a gratitude journal.
20:25If you don't like to write, pick your phone up
20:28and record yourself saying it.
20:31Being grateful for whatever it is you have right now.
20:35And as you continue to be grateful for what you have,
20:37and it's such an easy step, you know what I mean?
20:39If you're not somebody who wants to get up
20:41and go do yoga or, you know,
20:43do all these things that require energy
20:45because nine times out of 10, your energy is low
20:48because you're feeling so down.
20:50So the easiest thing that I would do is say,
20:53listen to positive affirmations on YouTube
20:55because all you have to do is type it in.
20:57You just have to listen.
20:59And the second thing is gratitude journaling.
21:02Those two steps are probably the easiest steps
21:05that I can give somebody to start their healing journey
21:08now without having to feel like they have to have
21:11their souls completely together.
21:13You know, some of you guys are probably sleeping
21:15the days away because you're depressed, you're down.
21:18But if you literally just say,
21:19I'm grateful that I woke up.
21:22I'm grateful that I can see.
21:24I'm grateful that I can hear.
21:27I'm grateful that I can taste food.
21:28You know, all of those things are something
21:30to be grateful for because there's somebody
21:31who doesn't have and wishes that they do.
21:34So even if you can't find anything to be grateful for
21:37because I noticed that's what some people struggle with,
21:39finding something to be grateful for.
21:40Just be grateful that you woke up.
21:44That you're given another chance to restart.
21:46Each day is another day to restart.
21:49That's how you need to look at each day.
21:51It's another day for me to be better and restart.
21:53You didn't do good Monday on your affirmations
21:55and gratitude started again Tuesday.
21:59And like I heard in the workshop for podcasting,
22:02repetition is gonna lead to that confidence.
22:04And it's also gonna lead to growth
22:07and change that you can actually see.
22:09And I'm saying this because I actually did it.
22:11I'm not gonna tell you to do something that I didn't do.
22:14It makes no sense.
22:15I'm here to empathize, not just sympathize.
22:19So again, that's what I started to help me.
22:22Even changing the screensaver on your phone
22:25because we're 99% of the time we are on our phone
22:29trying to be distracted or whatever the case may be.
22:31Change your wallpaper.
22:33Change your screensaver to a positive affirmation.
22:37So every time you pick up that phone,
22:39your mind is being programmed by you seeing that
22:41and you're gonna see the change.
22:43It's inevitable.
22:46It's just like gravity, just like gravity.
22:50There's no way if you really put in the work
22:52and you really believe in it,
22:53there's no way you're not gonna start to see results.
22:57So that's where I was taught.
22:58Affirmation videos on YouTube and gratitude journaling,
23:01whether you write it out
23:02or you record yourself on your phone.
23:05Now, I gotta kind of plug myself too.
23:08And you speak a lot about self-love.
23:10I used to call myself a self-love advocate.
23:13I still am, but I don't focus too much in that space
23:16as much as I should.
23:18So I kind of took the label off
23:20unless we had like personal conversations.
23:22But also like I have affirmations
23:25and like I started linking it in my podcast episodes
23:29and that's it.
23:30Alien affirmations, one, two, three.
23:32Alien affirmations, one, two, three, by Alien Eye Player.
23:38And it's a minute track, a good track,
23:40and I'm not like, I don't wanna say sugarcoating,
23:42but it's not that fluffy like I am great.
23:47I can do anything.
23:49Those are great, but I wanna go more deep
23:52into your soul with these affirmations.
23:55And that's why they're alien
23:57because they're out of this world.
24:00Okay, higher, I like that.
24:06So you speak about every day
24:09it's almost like a blank canvas starting fresh.
24:12I think every painting or every art that you do
24:15is not gonna be your best work
24:17or to your satisfaction,
24:19but it's still a representation of you
24:22in some way, shape or form,
24:23especially in this moment in life.
24:26Now I know we kind of spoke before the recording
24:29just about me being a photographer
24:31in my history about photography.
24:34And each day is even kind of different,
24:37like I don't have my childhood hospital,
24:39my childhood home, it's gone.
24:41I don't have pictures of that.
24:42And that kind of testify my journey
24:46of me becoming a photographer
24:48because I'm a historian in the documentation
24:51of these things that sometimes no longer exist.
24:55Or we can see the transformation
24:57and a lot of people do there before and after
24:59when they're on body weight challenges,
25:03diet challenges, this is what I look like before
25:06and dang, this is what I look like now.
25:10If you don't see that change
25:11and then you're not doing it in the work.
25:15So you should be able to see that physical change
25:17within a picture.
25:19That's just for that example.
25:21Think about that with all things.
25:24You touched on some great points
25:26and I'm gonna have to get a gratitude journal.
25:28Do you sell those, by the way?
25:30I do not, but hey, you dropping some gems.
25:33Not yet, not yet.
25:35I like that, definitely.
25:37Be on the lookout for sure.
25:41But yes, I would definitely encourage you to do that.
25:43Anybody, even if you're already in a good space,
25:46what's wrong with making your life a little bit better?
25:48You know, like just, I feel like
25:51we just get into a place of the mundane
25:54and just doing the day to day.
25:57And it's just very easy to get thrown into
26:01just that negativity and just trying to figure out,
26:04well, what can I do to fix this?
26:06And just be, just be.
26:09And realizing that it's just so simple
26:11as to what you say and what you focus on.
26:13It's not as hard as we make it.
26:16You know what I mean?
26:17Yes, everything takes time,
26:19but anything worth having
26:21is gonna take a little bit longer, you know?
26:24And when you guys are embarking on this journey,
26:28wherever you may be, whether it's self-love,
26:30whether it's self-discovery or just healing,
26:33take a minute to think about
26:34how much grace we give to other people.
26:37You know what I mean?
26:38How we're so easy to understand
26:40what they're going through
26:41and can pour into them and tell them to do X, Y, and Z.
26:45But for some reason, we can't take our own advice.
26:50You know?
26:50And that's just basically
26:53when I wouldn't be able to get people to see
26:56the same energy that we so easily give away to others.
27:00Let's start being intentional and giving that to ourselves
27:03because clearly we see how it makes other people feel.
27:06We're lifting them up.
27:07Why do we feel like we can't lift ourselves up?
27:09We have to wait for somebody else to do it.
27:12No, clearly we have it in us
27:14that we can pour into somebody else.
27:16We just need to understand
27:18that we're worthy of that too.
27:19It doesn't have to be somebody else pouring into us
27:21because we know how to properly love ourselves.
27:25And it's our job to teach people
27:26how to treat us properly and love us properly.
27:29So you got to start with loving yourself.
27:31How can you teach somebody how to love you
27:33or respect you when you don't even know?
27:36That's a good point.
27:39Going back to that self-love,
27:41like even when I, oh man,
27:44I used to be an unlicensed therapist
27:48for couples dealing with hardship
27:52or even tough times,
27:55being their coach and mentor in that aspect.
27:59But yeah, you have to love yourself
28:00before you can love someone else.
28:03Like you literally giving the blueprint
28:05by living yourself.
28:06Like this is how I want to be loved.
28:07This is how I accept love.
28:09And you know, it's the blueprint for other people.
28:12So yeah, it's important.
28:14Like, you know, I take time, even when I wake up,
28:19a lot of people there, they be all on their phone
28:21and go through the apps and before they brush their teeth.
28:26Trust me, I have days like that too.
28:28We're all guilty.
28:31But yeah, just having that quiet moment to myself,
28:33collecting my thoughts and you know,
28:36how I want the day, the week to kind of pan out
28:38what I'm about to do today, like, okay, all right.
28:42And then, you know, get myself ready.
28:45Like I usually start with a bowl of oatmeal.
28:48I didn't get my oatmeal today,
28:49but usually start with a bowl of oatmeal.
28:51You know, it's a good meal
28:55and a good fiber and it's filling.
28:58And it's a healthy alternative
28:59as far as breakfast and it's quick.
29:02But yeah, that's kind of like my routine,
29:04you know, slowly creeping to my day.
29:06I know a lot of people, they work nine to fives
29:08and you know, they jump it to work, you know,
29:11almost the first day.
29:12So you think about if you're late, you're rushing
29:14and like, oh, oh, so think about your day starting
29:16like that and then setting the tone
29:18for the rest of the day.
29:19And like, you know, before I dove deep
29:23in my entrepreneur journey, I'm like,
29:25I'm only doing, you know, third shift night
29:28because I really want to live out my day,
29:30do whatever I want in the day, work on my business.
29:33If I want to attend my kids, nephew, you know,
29:38basketball game or sports event or whatever,
29:41maybe, you know, I could do that and then still go to work
29:44because it's like the last thing I think about
29:46and the last thing I want to do in my life,
29:47not the first day.
29:49So I like that, I like that.
29:51That's a good way to look at it for sure.
29:53And do you feel like that's been helping you?
29:55Oh, definitely, like even like yesterday,
29:59like I was able to, you know, go to a baby shower
30:03and attend different events and still, you know,
30:05get work.
30:06Nice, nice, nice, nice.
30:08I love that.
30:09Sometimes for some people, you know,
30:10just starting off, it could be draining,
30:12especially if you're not used to it or finding that flow.
30:15But once you find that flow, it is golden.
30:17Trust me, it is golden.
30:19It's not for everyone.
30:21You dropping gems.
30:22It's not for everyone though.
30:23And I understand being a single parent,
30:27but it also could be a benefit
30:29if you got that support system.
30:31So, you know, find out what works for you.
30:33Maybe it's in the middle of the day, you know,
30:35doing work in the middle of the day,
30:37but, you know, especially those that have, you know,
30:40nine to five and jobs, careers that start very early,
30:44like six, seven a.m.
30:47That could be tough for a lot of people,
30:48especially on a regular basis.
30:50So you just got to find out what works for you
30:53and not a gratitude journal,
30:55but just a personal journal of like,
30:57how do I want my life to look
30:58and how do I want my life to flow?
31:00How do I want my life to be structured?
31:01I think it's also important.
31:03Like really spend time with yourself.
31:05I speak with a lot of people and they'd be like,
31:08oh, I can't do this by myself.
31:10I don't want to be by myself.
31:11I like, people have a hard time being with themselves,
31:14sitting with themselves.
31:15I honestly love it.
31:18Like, it's another, I'm my own best friend.
31:21I'm my own coach.
31:22I'm my own motivational speaker.
31:24Like, it all starts with me first.
31:35We spoke about self-love, I had a pitch in.
31:38Absolutely, and honestly,
31:39I like that you did tap into that
31:41because with you being a man, you know what I mean?
31:44Sometimes they can kind of be like,
31:46it could be different stereotypes or this and that.
31:49And me being a boymind specifically,
31:51I'm very big on instilling that in them.
31:55Yes, you may be a man, you know what I mean?
31:57But you're still human at the end of the day.
31:59If you need to let some tears out
32:02and you don't want somebody to see you,
32:03go in the bathroom, close your door,
32:04or whatever you got to do, but don't hold it in.
32:07Don't try to be so tough just because you're a man.
32:10So I feel like you talking about self-love as a man,
32:13it's so important, especially our black men.
32:17Like, yes, love yourselves, love yourselves.
32:20You are so worthy of it, 100%.
32:23So you touching on that is beautiful
32:26because more men need to hear that for sure.
32:31And I like the workshops and stuff that you attend
32:35and also the speaking events that you're, you know,
32:38booked for.
32:39Is it more of a ratio of more men than women
32:41or more women than men?
32:42I can honestly say the speaking events that I have done
32:46have been more women than men.
32:50And that's kind of why when I say I want to work
32:53with adults and youth, that's not,
32:55you don't hear me say adult women or adult men.
32:59No, it's all inclusive, which is also why
33:02when you hear my trailer and I say it's where family
33:04and community goes hand in hand,
33:06I really mean that when I say family.
33:09You know what I mean?
33:10That non-judgment and everything like that.
33:13So hopefully over time, and especially with me
33:15being a boy mom and having male guests on my show,
33:20sharing their stories, I'm hoping that
33:22that can expand a little bit better.
33:24So where if I am putting together an event,
33:27I'm seeing at least maybe an equal amount of men
33:29and women showing up.
33:32Because it's not just for women.
33:34Everybody needs self-love and healing,
33:36regardless of whether you're a man or woman.
33:38And I think if we could just get out of that mindset,
33:41it'd be so much easier.
33:44So I think us talking about this is a great thing.
33:47Definitely.
33:48You used to be a rapper?
33:50Did I used to be a rapper?
33:51Yeah.
33:52I did.
33:53What made you say that?
33:54Well, it's not just for women.
33:57It's for self-love and healing.
33:58I'm like, okay.
34:00All right.
34:01Got the bars for it.
34:02Hey, I'm a poet and I didn't even know it.
34:05Let's go.
34:06That's actually a running joke on this podcast.
34:08Really?
34:09Me being a former poet or former performing poet
34:14always kind of hit on that.
34:15Like, oh, I'm gonna spit a rap for you.
34:16I'm gonna spit a poem for you.
34:17One of these days.
34:18One of these days.
34:19Yes, yes.
34:20I would love to hear one of your poems or raps
34:22for sure.
34:23Bring it back for us one time.
34:24Bring it back.
34:25Yeah, bring it back one time.
34:27One time.
34:28Let me see, let me see.
34:29I think one of my staple poems is called Frequency.
34:32I'm gonna give y'all a snippet.
34:33Cause I do wanna,
34:35actually I think I have it on one of my other episodes
34:40under meditation.
34:42Episode 10, I believe.
34:43Yeah, episode 10.
34:44I haven't released it yet, but yeah, episode 10.
34:47I'm gonna weave it in.
34:48But I'm gonna give y'all a snippet
34:49if y'all haven't tuned in.
34:52Frequency.
34:55Frequency is what you frequently see.
34:58Words and vibrations inside of me.
35:03Whew, it's been a minute.
35:05Let me recollect my thoughts for a minute.
35:07Wait, that was already sounding nice though.
35:09That was sounding real nice.
35:11Yeah, it gets deep.
35:13It sounds like it's gonna get deep for sure.
35:15It's been a minute since I performed live.
35:20Just performed in general.
35:21Okay.
35:22Is that something you wanna get back into?
35:24No.
35:25I retired, I hung it up.
35:27People ask me that all the time.
35:29Okay.
35:30Yes.
35:31I mean, I would do it for more marketing purposes.
35:38More for corporations and brands.
35:42If I shoot a commercial,
35:44I could kind of develop something for them.
35:47But actively putting out music and performing.
35:49I'm always a recording artist.
35:51I'm always.
35:52Yes.
35:53But as far as performing and being in a video, no.
35:56That's okay, that's okay.
35:58We evolve.
35:59That just shows that you've evolved.
36:01Yeah, I appreciate that.
36:03Ain't nothing wrong with it.
36:05All right, I kinda got my thoughts together
36:08how to pull it up though.
36:09Okay, okay.
36:10I'm gonna give y'all a snippet.
36:12It's a short poem anyway,
36:13but I'm gonna give y'all a snippet of the shortness.
36:16But good.
36:19Frequency.
36:20Your frequency is what you frequently see.
36:23Vibrations all in the universe and also inside of me.
36:28Alien to the world society.
36:30Shooting stars consciously.
36:33Righteously.
36:34Until every dust particle unites in me.
36:36Sparkling.
36:38Like water wine and jewelry and jewelry.
36:41I shine brighter than my time of infinity.
36:44Limency.
36:45Speckles around my eyes this vicinity.
36:48Vividly.
36:49Femininity.
36:50Raise my higher divinity.
36:52Sacred trinity.
36:54Reflects my divine masculinity.
36:57Felt in the trenches.
36:58Relentless.
36:59Lost my human minds.
37:02To gain my spiritual senses.
37:06Defenseless.
37:07Elevation.
37:07See, you ain't shy, you can talk.
37:09Look at you.
37:10Through focus and meditation.
37:13Yeah, so that's just a snippet of frequency.
37:17Nah, I like it.
37:19Thank you, thank you.
37:19Again, art school, so we had creative writing too.
37:23So, man, it's amazing.
37:26And with your art school, what did you take up?
37:29I was a dance major from sixth through 12th grade.
37:34What type of dance is it?
37:35Is it more theoretical or more like hip hop?
37:37We primarily focused on ballet and modern.
37:43Those were our main focuses.
37:45And then when we have performances,
37:47we would do like praise dancing.
37:48Like we had tours like around Christmas time,
37:52we would do like Coming of the King.
37:53So we would do dances like Wade in the Water,
37:56different things like that.
37:57Really get the crowd moving.
37:59But some other forms of dancing
38:01that we did a little bit was tap dancing.
38:04I would love to get back into tap dancing.
38:06Just because we didn't do it that long,
38:08but I absolutely loved it.
38:10Loved it, loved it, loved it.
38:11So dance now for me,
38:13since I'm not doing a profession,
38:14is like my creative outlet.
38:16Just like with hair,
38:17because I love doing hair.
38:19I'm licensed going on 15 years,
38:21but it's not my main focus.
38:23And that's okay.
38:24You know what I mean?
38:25It's like my creativity.
38:27And I love it.
38:28Yeah, I wanna speak on that too.
38:30But yeah, let's jump right into it actually.
38:35So, with hair, you said 15 years,
38:39what are some of the trends
38:40from when you first started versus like now?
38:45I can say, what's something that we don't?
38:49Oh, a little bit,
38:50we kind of did like the whole little body wraps,
38:52like the curls on the top.
38:54Did that a little bit.
38:55Not really doing that anymore.
38:58There's so many things.
38:59I can't think of one thing to be completely honest
39:02of what we did back then that's changed now.
39:04Like the way we do quick weaves,
39:06or you know what?
39:08Actually, with COVID, that's what I can say.
39:10The fact that cosmetologists, beauty professionals,
39:15we're able to make money in different ways
39:17other than being directly with the client.
39:20Digital products, like classes.
39:22Say if you're somebody who's really good at hair cutting,
39:25putting together a video and reselling it.
39:27Making that passive income.
39:29So being able to create classes,
39:31and I will say that it's a lot,
39:33we'll say that it's a lot easier
39:35to get from behind the chair and pivot
39:37into something as whereas back then,
39:40nobody really talked about retirement plans.
39:44You know what I mean?
39:45401Ks for cosmetologists.
39:48That's something that wasn't really talked about.
39:50And now after COVID,
39:51I can say that's definitely a big topic that comes up.
39:54How can you protect yourself as a hairstylist?
39:56How can you retire from the industry
39:58if you want to retire and not be broke?
40:01You know what I mean?
40:02So I would say that's the biggest change.
40:03Not so much with the hair,
40:05because it kind of comes back.
40:07Yeah.
40:08Is there any like products from back then
40:10that used to be big and major
40:12that a lot of people don't use now,
40:14or even some products, or even tools that you use?
40:17Oh, tools for sure.
40:18They were already going out
40:19like the old school Marcells.
40:22You know, to do those small curls
40:24and everything like that.
40:25Everybody now is using the mini flat irons for that.
40:28Nobody really uses.
40:30Now, some of our old, like my kids, Gigi,
40:33she's an older hairstylist
40:34and she still uses the Marcells,
40:35but she's still able to do what's current as well.
40:38So I would say sometimes people can kind of elevate
40:42with the times as things change,
40:44but definitely the Marcells
40:46aren't as common as they used to be.
40:50More electric tools.
40:52Now, with my background in being in media,
40:55especially like video production, you know,
40:58everybody's on social media, has a web page.
41:02How has media from back then affected the industry?
41:06Oh my goodness.
41:07I feel like it has affected the industry
41:09in such a good way.
41:11I mean, it has its pros, it has its cons,
41:13but more so in a good way
41:14because we're able to reach so much more people.
41:17And now we have the trend
41:19where some stylists are bi-coastal,
41:21meaning, okay, they do here in Cleveland,
41:24but they're also doing here in Georgia or Vegas.
41:26And again, that's another extra stream of income
41:29because if you're traveling, you know what I mean?
41:31You got to add on that little extra thing.
41:34So social media has made it possible
41:36to be able to get your name out there more,
41:39you know, to celebrities,
41:41gaining, you know, celebrity clients,
41:42which I know some stylists are into as well,
41:44because you have social media.
41:46You get what I'm saying?
41:47So those celebrities can see,
41:48you can tag them in your posts so that they can see it.
41:52So social media has really, really changed
41:54the beauty industry in a good way for sure,
41:56because you're able to get more visual
42:00and to reach more people to expand your brand with it,
42:03instead of it just being local to your city.
42:07So I had this friend, right?
42:10His name is Steven, you know?
42:12He's an event photographer.
42:14We spoke on, what was that, bi-coastal?
42:17Bi-coastal, yes.
42:18Can someone in the media industry be bi-coastal?
42:21Bi-coastal.
42:23So honestly, if you're working with an artist
42:26who's like in, say, we'll just say Georgia again,
42:29and you end up, they like your work,
42:31you come down there, say maybe one time,
42:33shoot a video, do whatever you want to do,
42:34so they're like, oh my gosh,
42:36I really like your work,
42:37like I want to keep working for you.
42:38They're going to invest in you.
42:39They're going to invest in that time
42:41for you to be able to come back once a month,
42:43once every three months,
42:44whatever their business plan is set up to be,
42:47then you're bi-coastal, and then word of mouth.
42:50So pretty sure that client that you're working with
42:52in Georgia is going to tell somebody else,
42:54and then word of mouth,
42:55and then your clientele is going to start to grow
42:57and get bigger in that other state
42:59while you've already built a clientele here in Cleveland.
43:03So that's one of the ways
43:04that you could possibly do that,
43:06work with a client out of state,
43:07let them see your work, you know what I mean?
43:09And then they hire you on,
43:10like man, I don't want nobody else.
43:11I want you, and I'm willing to pay you
43:14to come from Cleveland to Georgia to do my photography.
43:18That's actually ironic you say that
43:20because actually one of my business partners,
43:23he'd been in the media industry for,
43:26you know, visual media industry for 10 years.
43:30And he recently expanded to Atlanta specifically
43:34last year, so it's crazy how you say Georgia
43:36because I'm joking, but you know,
43:40it's actually on the radar.
43:42And I don't know if you heard of the podcast summit?
43:45Yes, I have, and I really want to go.
43:47Yeah, me and the team, we went last year,
43:50and it's amazing. Okay.
43:51I heard so many great things about that event,
43:54so because I'm doing what I'm doing now,
43:56and I really want to see it expand and go somewhere,
43:59now that I'm really serious,
44:00I would love to be able to go
44:02to the summit this year for sure.
44:04Definitely, I think he just released a date,
44:06so I would send it to you too, like, you know.
44:10Please do, thank you.
44:12We elevate, you know.
44:13Thank you, thank you.
44:15And now you got a fresh head of re-twisted locks,
44:19looking real nice and fresh, period.
44:24So you could walk out there,
44:27look like that businessman, you know,
44:29pass out some business cards, you know what I mean?
44:34Knock on some doors and stuff.
44:36Absolutely, for sure.
44:37Ain't nothing wrong with the pirates,
44:39like they used to do back in the day on the windshields,
44:42put your flyers right there when you come off the club.
44:45So how are stylists, is it called stylists or?
44:50Yes, you could say hairstylist.
44:52Cosmetologist is just basically meaning
44:54that you studied hair, skin, and nails in school.
44:58So like the esthetician, right, right, right, right.
45:01But yeah, I focus just on hair,
45:03so you could say hairstylist.
45:06As far as marketing, what are some,
45:08because you spoke about business cards,
45:10what are some ways other than social media
45:12that are ways of them marketing themselves and getting out?
45:17So one of the things that I definitely did,
45:19I did vending events.
45:21And yes, vending events, I would have my business cards,
45:24but I would also have flyers
45:25with like different hairstyles that I offer
45:28just so they can see my work.
45:30And even just as you walk, you're out and about,
45:33say you're at the mall,
45:34have your business cards and flyers with you.
45:36Even if somebody says, hey,
45:39I'm not looking for a stylist right now,
45:42at least you're able to give that to that flyer to them.
45:45They can pass it along to somebody else who needs it.
45:47And I would say one other way
45:49that my kids Gigi taught me, and I love it,
45:51she would do a deal where if you bring her
45:54three new clients,
45:56your next service will be completely free.
45:58And that's another great way.
46:00That's amazing.
46:01And a lot of people who don't,
46:03like I was speaking with someone,
46:05like you should have a referral system.
46:07Like it's easy.
46:08You know, it's less work from you
46:10and you also getting promotion from it.
46:13Bringing in new clients, it's saving you time.
46:16And like, who better else?
46:19I mean, kind of like even how we met
46:20through a mutual person.
46:21Exactly.
46:22It kind of speeds up that time.
46:25Or like, you know, and we instantly click
46:28and I told you, we're gonna be working together
46:30and I love what you're doing
46:32and I'm pouring word. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
46:34And even your story, it intrigues me.
46:37And like, yeah, the youth particularly,
46:39they need people like you.
46:41Absolutely.
46:42And I feel like the younger you are
46:44when you start learning how to love yourself,
46:48the better.
46:49Oh my goodness.
46:50Like I wish I would have learned it sooner,
46:52but I still, I was about 29 when I started my journey.
46:55So I was still fairly young,
46:56but I just like, if I would have,
46:58I feel like if I would have known it
46:59maybe in my teens and it was actually introduced to me,
47:02it probably would have, you know,
47:06stopped maybe me being a teen mom
47:09and different things like that.
47:10You know what I mean?
47:11So yeah, definitely for sure.
47:14We need it.
47:16Yeah.
47:16Excuse you.
47:17We on the location in this trash day.
47:20So if you heard it in the background,
47:21just know it was,
47:23they're collecting the trash during their jobs.
47:25So I appreciate them.
47:27Yeah.
47:27Thank you, City of Cleveland.
47:29Yes, yes.
47:30Thank you.
47:30Thank you.
47:31We appreciate you.
47:32We recognize you.
47:33Right.
47:34Keep it clean.
47:35It's actually a multi-million dollar industry
47:38I'm gonna have to tap into too.
47:42Yeah.
47:42Watchable screens are in color.
47:44Right, that's right.
47:46So we spoke about you being a hairstylist
47:48and the different trends.
47:49What about the trends of,
47:50you know, being a adoptee?
47:53Like what are even like the structure
47:56maybe through paperwork or even like,
48:00just kind of give like a brief overview of the process
48:02and then kind of break down the trends and history.
48:05So I was adopted at two.
48:09So my memory of like the whole process
48:11with like paperwork is a little bit vague.
48:14I would have to do more like talk to my mom with that.
48:17Okay.
48:17But for sure, for sure the process,
48:21normally how it starts is at least what my mom said
48:24is when I was in foster care,
48:26basically once she went through the process
48:28of whatever that paperwork was,
48:29she would start to do visits with me.
48:32You know what I mean?
48:32So while I was still in the foster home in Warren, Ohio,
48:35my mom would come and visit me and everything like that.
48:39And then after a while, that's when they would actually,
48:43I have a picture of me in like the courtroom.
48:45So the actual state of Ohio makes the adoption permanent
48:49into what it is.
48:50And then you move to wherever you're gonna move.
48:53Now, something that some people don't know
48:55is the fact that when a child is adopted,
48:57you can change their name.
48:59Okay.
49:00So I go by Kayla Monique, okay.
49:03That is my biological name.
49:05My name was not changed.
49:06Kayla Monique were not changed.
49:08So a lot of times when I introduce myself,
49:10you're gonna hear me say Kayla Monique
49:12because of the simple fact,
49:13my biological last name is Reed,
49:15my adopted family is McCrary,
49:17but they're both my family.
49:19So you'll hear me say Kayla Monique.
49:21So basically after I got adopted,
49:23the next step is basically where someone
49:25from the agency came to visit me
49:27for like maybe six months into the first year
49:30just to make sure I was adjusted good.
49:32And then after that, you're an adoptee.
49:35So now you're in this new environment with this new home,
49:39you're adjusting to new parents, new family members.
49:42And again, I don't remember all of that
49:44because I was so young, but that's the process.
49:49And some adoptive parents are good
49:51about talking to you about it
49:52and explaining that to you, but some aren't.
49:56And that's also why I wanna do the work that I wanna do
49:59because it's kinda, some adoptees don't,
50:01cause I have adopted cousin who's not that into it.
50:04She's cool with where she is, but you have me
50:06where I'm super inquisitive and I wanna know.
50:09So that's kinda the process of adoption.
50:12Yes, you do your paperwork
50:14depending on if the child's in foster care
50:16or newly born.
50:17So there's a couple of little things
50:18that can make it a little unique to each person.
50:21Okay, wow.
50:22And what are some of the things
50:23you would wanna change about that system?
50:25So some of the things I would wanna change
50:26is the fact that anyone who is dealing with children
50:32affected by foster care or adoption,
50:33I feel like that individual should be able
50:37have some type of experience to adoption or foster care
50:40because again, you heard me talk about
50:41empathizing versus sympathizing.
50:43And for me, it's so easy for me to get on that level
50:46because I empathize, I've walked in their shoes.
50:49And a lot of times it's kinda hard
50:51for others who haven't to do that.
50:54And to really understand where a person is coming from.
50:57So I think there should be more in-person conversations
51:00with adoptees present to speak to potential
51:02adoptive parents, potential foster parents,
51:05just so they understand what it is,
51:08fully understand the role that they're stepping into.
51:10Because sometimes it can't be from a selfish perspective
51:13because they wanna have a baby and they can't.
51:15And here's my baby.
51:17But not thinking about that baby still has struggles,
51:20they still have their own individuality.
51:22There's things that you're gonna need to understand
51:24to be able to truly care for that child,
51:27which I feel like nobody really understood me
51:29because they weren't affected by it.
51:32They were like, ooh, wow,
51:34but couldn't give me anything.
51:36So I think that more people affected by adoption
51:39should be helping to make those decisions
51:41and educating potential foster and adoptive parents.
51:46For sure.
51:48And me being again in media and more so documenting
51:52these powerful stories, elevating positive stories,
51:56what role does media play in this situation?
52:01Is it enough media in this space
52:03that's telling these stories?
52:05Me personally, I don't think there's enough media.
52:08I know there are places in Cleveland
52:10that do things like Fostering Hope, Adoption Network.
52:13But for me personally,
52:15I don't see it broadcasted enough on TV
52:17or on big media podcasts,
52:20so like say on Fox 8 News, Channel 5 News,
52:24there's not enough media exposure for it,
52:26so I feel like a lot of people are uneducated
52:28because they have to go looking for it themselves,
52:31whether then it being on media, like you said,
52:34like when they're talking about murder or politics,
52:36let's talk about what's happening
52:38with all of these children, so yeah.
52:41There needs to be more media.
52:42Yes, yeah, we're definitely gonna change that.
52:45We're definitely changing that, let me say that.
52:47We're definitely changing that now.
52:48Yes, yes. We're doing that.
52:50Our voices matter, and I say that all the time.
52:53Adoptee voices matter
52:54because there's so many different forms of adoption
52:57that people don't know.
52:58You have biracial, you have same-sex,
53:01you have kinship,
53:02where basically that's someone within the family
53:04that takes on the child,
53:05like I have a sister like that,
53:06but she wasn't fully adopted.
53:08Okay.
53:09So it's like, where do I stand?
53:11Like yeah, this is my family,
53:12but it's not my mom and dad, you know?
53:15So there's just, there's so many different things
53:17that come with adoption
53:18that a lot of people don't know.
53:21So that's why I feel like media
53:22is gonna be a big tool to get it out there,
53:25and not just reading material,
53:27but actual conversations
53:29so that people can really hear it and it can stick.
53:33Well, I know the people
53:33that's gonna love this conversation.
53:35I appreciate you.
53:37Oh, you're very welcome.
53:38Thank you for listening.
53:41And if there's an inspirational word or quote
53:45you may give someone in a tough situation
53:49or even an adoptee or entrepreneur
53:51that may be struggling,
53:53what are some words that you could give
53:55to encourage them?
53:56I would say,
53:57because this is something I say to me often
53:59and it may sound cliche,
54:00but no weapon formed against you shall prosper.
54:05Like absolutely, unless you give it the power,
54:07whether it's a regular person
54:09who's just talking nasty about you,
54:12whether it's your living situation,
54:13maybe you're in a building
54:14and it's just not where you wanna be.
54:17You have a boss that's,
54:20you have the control over how that's gonna affect you.
54:25You still have that control,
54:27even if you feel like you don't, you do.
54:30You can let somebody say,
54:32oh, you're stupid
54:32and really let it mess up your whole day,
54:34or you can take them like,
54:36that's their opinion, not mine.
54:39No weapon formed against you shall prosper.
54:42It brings me back to one of my affirmations.
54:45Also, again, check out alien affirmations,
54:48one, two, three, yes.
54:50Or you can just type in alien one, two, three,
54:52it may pop up.
54:53And I say,
54:56I'm a magician.
54:57I could change my mind in an instant.
55:00I'm a magician.
55:02That's what it brings me to that.
55:04Even the opening statement like,
55:06change your mind, you could change the world.
55:09Like these are the type of affirmations
55:11that I include.
55:11That too.
55:12And I do have another little long one.
55:14Okay, that's definitely fair.
55:15But I love to say it because most of us are,
55:19we're giving some type of service
55:20to somebody else or something.
55:22So another one I like to say is,
55:24I do wonderful work in a wonderful way.
55:26I give wonderful service for wonderful pay.
55:29I'm gonna repeat it after you.
55:31Let's go, I'll start.
55:32I do wonderful work in a wonderful way.
55:34I do wonderful work in a wonderful way.
55:36I give wonderful service.
55:38I give wonderful service.
55:40For wonderful pay.
55:41For wonderful pay.
55:42Come on now.
55:44Come on now.
55:45And I've used that before in saying,
55:47with them clients doing hair and stuff,
55:49them tits go a little higher.
55:51So it's all about what you say.
55:53And then you gotta believe it.
55:54You gotta believe what you say.
55:56Not just say it.
55:57You gotta believe it.
55:58You have to believe.
56:00And you know it was crazy as you say that.
56:02That's actually how I got my first wedding.
56:05I was with my old photography partner.
56:07We went to the party.
56:08We was gonna practice some stuff
56:09and get some brand each other.
56:10You take photographs of me.
56:12I take photographs of you.
56:14Practice in a different light.
56:16And I always said I wanted to jump into weddings.
56:19And before we did,
56:22we listened to my affirmations that I made.
56:23I didn't release this one,
56:25but one of them is I deserve to get the money.
56:31I deserve.
56:32And then I repeated it and said it
56:34in a more powerful tone.
56:36That was just one of them,
56:37but it was a lengthy track, almost seven.
56:41And probably even longer than that.
56:43I have some shorter ones too,
56:45but just listening to that,
56:47some great things always come through.
56:49And that's how I attracted my first wedding client.
56:52Yes, that is so true.
56:55And even with the vision boards,
56:56I have a vision book.
56:59Because I like to keep it with me
57:02and so I can look at it more often.
57:05And some of the things are still manifest,
57:07but one thing was the speaking opportunity.
57:09I had a microphone, me talking every day
57:12before the opportunity even came.
57:14And I was sitting down and thinking of one day,
57:15I was like, wait a minute, get your vision book.
57:18And I looked at the years I had on there
57:20from 2021 to 2023,
57:22and that was when I got my very first
57:24public speaking opportunity in 2020.
57:26So as you speak book
57:27and we talked about the products earlier,
57:29even what I'm doing with the podcast,
57:32especially my solo podcast in the earlier stages,
57:36breaking it up into books, like the transcripts,
57:38and then getting the key points and highlights from that,
57:41putting it into books, expanding on it.
57:44So yeah, I kind of give you that tip too.
57:47Look what you take from each interview
57:49and reflect on it and,
57:52or even use them as examples,
57:54like such-and-such spoke about boom, boom, boom.
57:56This is why it's important, and you know.
57:59Ah, see, y'all need to tap into him.
58:01Y'all need to tap in.
58:02He's always dropping gems.
58:04I appreciate it.
58:04Like somebody met him.
58:05It hasn't even been that long.
58:07It hasn't?
58:07Under a month.
58:08Yeah, under a month for sure.
58:10And he's just been doing the work, like.
58:11Absolutely, dropping so much gems.
58:13But again, that shows that being in alignment.
58:15You know what I mean?
58:16Again, why I'm so glad I showed up to that event
58:18because it connected me with more amazing people.
58:21So it's only up from here.
58:22It's only up from here.
58:23It's only up.
58:24Oh, are we doing the work?
58:26Yes, yes, yes.
58:27You gotta do the work.
58:29Ooh, you have to do the work.
58:30Don't just take in the knowledge.
58:33Like, so don't just take what we're telling you
58:35and just let it sit there.
58:36Actually do what we're telling you.
58:38You have to.
58:38Like, for real.
58:40And so y'all are not looking at us like,
58:41oh, but y'all said, yeah, you gotta do it.
58:43And you have to be consistent.
58:45You have to.
58:46You have to be consistent.
58:47Like, I started my journey in 2018.
58:50This is 2025.
58:52It's taking time, but I'm still growing.
58:54You know what I mean?
58:55I'm still growing.
58:57How many years is that difference?
58:59Ooh, my goodness.
59:0018, 19, 20, 21, 22, about six, 70 years or so?
59:03Seven.
59:04I've been on this journey.
59:05Seven years.
59:06Seven years.
59:07Is seven a powerful number?
59:09Ooh, it is.
59:10That's my life path number.
59:12And we've been talking about sevens all day.
59:14And that's actually my daughter's name too.
59:16Really?
59:17Yeah.
59:18See, look at that.
59:19Oh my goodness.
59:20The confirmation, guys.
59:21Are y'all seeing this confirmation right here?
59:23Wow.
59:23When you're in alignment with where you're supposed to be
59:26and you show up and you really trust yourself.
59:30Oh my goodness.
59:31Like, don't be scared.
59:33I was scared for so long
59:35and it kept me so stagnant for so long.
59:39Once I started to venture out and stop being so scared,
59:43it put on, like they say, the big girl panties.
59:45Man, like it's literally just been one thing after another.
59:49Like it's, oh my gosh, it's amazing.
59:52When they say enjoy the journey and the process,
59:54that's literally where I'm at.
59:56I'm actually able to enjoy the journey.
59:58Yeah.
59:59Oh, it's so much fun.
1:00:00I know we can wrap, oh, we're gonna have to do a part two
1:00:03for sure.
1:00:04We are.
1:00:04We are, for sure.
1:00:05We're gonna have school.
1:00:06This is definitely high level.
1:00:08This is definitely inspirational.
1:00:10Appreciate you sharing your story
1:00:12and like, oh, it amazes me more.
1:00:14Thank you.
1:00:15I really appreciate it.
1:00:16I loved it, for sure.
1:00:18So for those listening in, you know,
1:00:20I'm promoting myself as a business coach.
1:00:23I like to have ideation sessions
1:00:25because I like to have different ideas
1:00:27and bounce them off people.
1:00:28So with that being said, would you hire me as a coach?
1:00:33Absolutely.
1:00:34Okay.
1:00:3410 out of 10, just from the last few days
1:00:37that we've been talking consistently
1:00:39and how you just been dropping gems on my podcast
1:00:42and the question that you've been asking me,
1:00:45like any question, right there.
1:00:47And sometimes you answer the questions
1:00:48before I even ask the question, so I would.
1:00:51I've been practicing, I've been practicing.
1:00:52For sure.
1:00:54That just goes to,
1:00:55cause I go like to a lot of workshops,
1:00:57read books, webinars, conferences, travel outside
1:01:01to stay, go to conferences and network.
1:01:04So yeah, it's like you said,
1:01:05you have to apply what you know.
1:01:06I know all of this.
1:01:07I take a lot of notes.
1:01:08I don't just keep it in my notebook.
1:01:10There you go.
1:01:11I'll reread it, apply it, even stuff you,
1:01:14I may not even know, but it's like, hmm.
1:01:16But I'm sure me staying consistent with my learning,
1:01:20you know, is gonna help with that situation.
1:01:23Absolutely.
1:01:24Me taking action is how you recorded my trailer that day
1:01:27cause I already had to take action on it.
1:01:29So I was ready.
1:01:30You know what?
1:01:31I'm gonna do something special.
1:01:33That was just in the studio,
1:01:35but we're gonna actually create,
1:01:37I call that the unofficial trailer.
1:01:40We're gonna create an actual trailer.
1:01:41On me, on me, on me.
1:01:44Just cause I appreciate your vision
1:01:45and the line of work you do and the importance of it.
1:01:48And like you said, there's not enough media in there.
1:01:51So that's gonna be my, you know, courtesy
1:01:53Aw, thank you.
1:01:55See y'all, y'all need to come check him out.
1:01:57I don't know if he gonna do everything.
1:02:00You have to talk to him about that.
1:02:00I don't really do,
1:02:05yeah, just talk, just send me a message.
1:02:08We gotta make money.
1:02:09Yeah, I got babies to feed.
1:02:13Dills gotta be paid.
1:02:14That's right, that's right.
1:02:15But you know, you never know.
1:02:17Just that's the importance of networking.
1:02:19And you spoke about that too.
1:02:21And even at the workshop,
1:02:23I told everybody find an accountability partner.
1:02:26Now are you keeping in touch
1:02:28with your accountability partner?
1:02:29So we are following each other on Instagram.
1:02:33She's like my post, actually my trailer
1:02:35and everything like that.
1:02:36But we have not met outside yet together.
1:02:39Well, I don't wanna say met,
1:02:42but maybe I think what I said at that day,
1:02:45you know, keeping communications once a week.
1:02:47Did you do what you were supposed to do this week?
1:02:49You know, so.
1:02:50Yeah, we gotta work on getting there.
1:02:52We both here.
1:02:52All right, so.
1:02:53But yes, we're friends.
1:02:54We have each other's numbers,
1:02:55which I love that too.
1:02:56We make sure we exchange numbers,
1:02:58not just social media.
1:02:59Right, that's important.
1:02:59For sure.
1:03:00Get the personal number too,
1:03:01not just social media.
1:03:02Because some people are on,
1:03:04they're not on social media all the time.
1:03:06I'm truly, I'm gonna get them back.
1:03:08I always say that, but then I just be like,
1:03:10did you see my post?
1:03:11I'm like, it'll be a week later.
1:03:15I'm like, but yeah.
1:03:16It's okay, we understand, we understand.
1:03:19Yeah, I'm busy living life
1:03:21and I'm actually doing the work.
1:03:22So that's why I'm not on.
1:03:23And that's the thing.
1:03:24It's not like you're just gone
1:03:25because you're just gone.
1:03:26You're putting in work.
1:03:28Yeah.
1:03:28You know, elevation.
1:03:30Elevation, through focus and meditation.
1:03:33See, see.
1:03:33Patience.
1:03:34Ooh, yo.
1:03:35I might do a video for that poem.
1:03:37I think you should.
1:03:38But after this, we're gonna wrap up the song.
1:03:43But reach out, send that message to her.
1:03:44What was her name again?
1:03:46So my name on Instagram
1:03:48at unshattered underscore adoptee,
1:03:53at unshattered underscore adoptee.
1:03:55Feel free to DM me, send me a message.
1:03:57If you have any questions, any suggestions,
1:03:59if you wanna work with me,
1:04:02hey, I would love to have you.
1:04:04Yes, yes.
1:04:05And if you need another accountability partner,
1:04:07you have two here.
1:04:08Yes, yes, yes.
1:04:09So yes, let me reach out to me also
1:04:12at alien eyes photos.
1:04:14And that's alien eyes with a Z,
1:04:17photos with a S, alien eyes photos on all media
1:04:21and check out alieneyesphotos.com
1:04:25and also fan base,
1:04:27who I just happened to be an investor in.
1:04:31Black-owned media, social media
1:04:33by Mr. Isaac Hayes III.
1:04:36Yes, y'all know that his father is a great R&B singer.
1:04:39He's doing great things in Atlanta.
1:04:41And I kinda, I didn't get to formally meet him
1:04:44in Atlanta at the podcast summit,
1:04:46but I happened to go through the replays,
1:04:49like, oh, he was there, I heard his story
1:04:52and just how he speaks about fan base and his brand.
1:04:56I'm like, it's something I could buy into
1:04:58and invest with, so, you know.
1:05:01Find me on fan base also, alieneyesphotos.
1:05:04So yeah, I encourage everyone to make a account
1:05:08and it's for creators to get paid.
1:05:12They have likes and they also have love.
1:05:15So, love, you know, you get half cent
1:05:19for each person I love you.
1:05:21It goes back to the company
1:05:22and the other half cent goes to you.
1:05:24Oh, I love that.
1:05:26Yeah.
1:05:26Oh, I love that.
1:05:27For creators, yeah.
1:05:27That's amazing.
1:05:28That's amazing for sure.
1:05:29I definitely gotta tap in.
1:05:31Yeah, and they also have audio rooms,
1:05:34like clubhouse.
1:05:35So they had an audio room.
1:05:36So I want to build out,
1:05:38well, I'm building out, you know,
1:05:41with my platform and the podcast,
1:05:42getting them more towards fan base.
1:05:45So like, we having this conversation here.
1:05:47So probably the next time, part two,
1:05:49I will have it, you know,
1:05:50kind of streaming through the audio
1:05:52with fan base and the audio room.
1:05:55But it's still, I mean,
1:05:57I'm still learning platform myself, so.
1:06:00You know.
1:06:01But you got a lot of knowledge though.
1:06:03Yeah.
1:06:04For sure.
1:06:04For sure.
1:06:04It's just time for me to use it, you know.
1:06:06Yeah, I'm so excited you are.
1:06:08Thank you.
1:06:09Mm-hmm.
1:06:10I appreciate that.
1:06:11Well, any closing words for the people,
1:06:14for the creative entrepreneurs specifically?
1:06:17Keep going.
1:06:18Keep going.
1:06:19Your vision, keep going and your vision has purpose.
1:06:23Keep going and your vision has purpose.
1:06:27Keep going and your vision has purpose.
1:06:30I love that.
1:06:30Mm-hmm.
1:06:31Well, Ms. Kayla Monique,
1:06:32I want to appreciate you for taking,
1:06:35this is actually my first interview with this podcast.
1:06:39Hey.
1:06:41My first.
1:06:42First guest, yes.
1:06:43I jumped out the solo realm.
1:06:47That's my first interview.
1:06:48Yay, I love it.
1:06:49For the podcast.
1:06:50I love it.
1:06:50I love it.
1:06:51And you got a re-twist with it.
1:06:53We got a re-twist.
1:06:54See, knock it two birds.
1:06:55See, anybody that know me,
1:06:57I love preaching,
1:06:59knock out two birds with one stone.
1:07:01Yes.
1:07:01And that's what we did there.
1:07:02Absolutely.
1:07:03Yes.
1:07:03Got the re-twist done,
1:07:05did an interview, you know.
1:07:07Content, come on.
1:07:08Content, yes.
1:07:09I love it.
1:07:10Oh my God, I cannot thank you enough.
1:07:13Right on time, right on time, yes.
1:07:16So, with that being said,
1:07:18this has been Alien Eyes Photos Industry Talk.
1:07:23Like, share, follow.
1:07:25I'm trying to get away from subscribe
1:07:26because subscribe could mean, you know,
1:07:29a monetary thing, but subscribe.
1:07:31But also subscribe because I will have
1:07:34different content that be under a paywall, you know.
1:07:37But, you know, like, follow, reach out,
1:07:40send a message, engage, build a community,
1:07:43book me as an event photographer,
1:07:45book me as a coach.
1:07:47I just get to work.
1:07:49Thank you, thank you for tuning in.
1:07:50Again, this is Alien Eyes Photos Industry Talk.
1:07:54Until next time, thank you.
1:07:57Peace.
1:08:00Yes, yes, yes.
1:08:01Ha, ha.